31. Not Dark Yet

 I am not sure how I made it this long without writing about this song. It is a classic off of one of Dylan's many so called "comeback" albums. This one being Time Out of Mind. It was heralded as such due to the quality of the entire album and the fact that it was released after he had been hospitalized with Histoplasmosis.  (Many thought it would be his last album..... he has since put out 5 albums of original material, the most recent was in 2020. Damn this dude is prolific.) Now obviously the album was written and recorded prior to the hospitalization, but the themes of the album certainly paired nicely with his severe illness, at least for the narratives in the media. 

I was 16 at the time this came out. I had been consuming a steady diet of early 60s and, to what was at that time mid-career, 1970s Dylan.  I had not yet purchased anything that came after that. I received this album from my Grandma Rose as a Christmas present and I promptly dragged two of my cousins up to the bedroom in her house that had the CD player and pressed play. I think we all had gotten CDs and were taking turns playing them. I played this album and I was blown away.  How could I not be when the first song hits you with lines like, "Gonna walk down that dirt road, until my eyes begin to bleed,'Til there's nothing left to see,'Til the chains have been shattered and I been freed"?...... 

As for my cousins, they were a little younger and are not into Dylan's music like I am, so I am fairly certain bored characterized their mood,  but they soldiered on like good cousins do and listened to this now classic Dylan album with me. I wonder if they remember listening with me? Long after they were gone I played this song and "Standing in the Doorway" over and and over.  Nothing says Merry Christmas like "It's Not Dark Yet, but it's gettin there" or "You left me standing in the doorway cryin', I got nothing to go back to now". 

Anyway, on this record Dylan's voice was different than anything I had been used to hearing from him up to that point. It was craggy and worn and paired perfectly with the hazy smoky sound of the album with it's ruminations on life and it's passing.  It was real and dark and it is just an outstanding record.  The music sounded old and new at the same time and had a quality to it that felt like it was on an ever present loop that plays constantly throughout life. Happy and sad, powerful and deep, ominous and joyous. It had love and pain. It is made up of the things that make up our lives. 

There are many outstanding songs on this album that contains no filler, but this one is my favorite. By now if you have read this blog at all you  know that my writing and the songs I listen to tend to focus on the passage of time and the fact that we can't stop it. This song is exactly about that.  I truly enjoy that each couplet could almost start new song while at the same time carry the song forward. 

"Shadows are falling and I been here all day/It is too hot too sleep and time is running away/Feels like my soul is turning into steel/I've still got the scars that he sun didn't heal"

"My sense of humanity has gone down the drain/Behind every beautiful thing there has been some kind of pain"

"I been down to the bottom of a whirlpool of lies/I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes/Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear. It's not dark yet, but it's getting there."

"I know it looks like I am moving, but I am standing still"

"I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from"

Classic Dylan lines that just capture so much of what is like to live and age all in one song!! There are some that contend that this is a negative song, but I don't agree. It is heavy, but it is honest and not all things honest are negative.  I have no idea why the gravity of these heavy lines appealed so much to 16 year old me, but they did. Maybe I was an old soul, maybe it was the angst of being a teenager or maybe sometimes I have bit of a sad streak that comes out from time to time. I don't know, but I think it is because no matter your age or your experience you have felt or experienced life and felt this way one time or another. We all have scars. Behind every beautiful thing there is some kind of pain and that is what makes life so interesting. Nothing is perfect. That is what makes life so amazing and beautiful. The good things are hard earned. It is not easy, nor is it meant to be, but it is beautiful.