30. I've Made Up My Mind to Give Myself to You
There must be something about the fall and the Midwest for Bob Dylan because it seems like most of the time he passes through here between October and January. So it is only right that on 11/3/2021 he came to Chicago for the second show of his Rough and Rowdy Ways tour. It is the first tour since the pandemic brought an end to his nearly constant touring and the first I've seen him in over 10 years.
During the pandemic he delivered a dark new album full of songs about death, murder and time. The new album was a fitting release in the face of the pandemic and quite an impressive release for an 80 year old. Honestly, it is not my favorite album, but there are few gems there and that is why I still get excited when I hear there will be something new from the man. He always seems to deliver. He does what nobody has done in that regard. I love that he never rests on past accomplishments. He just makes music and follows the muse where ever it takes him. Surely he doesn't need the money. Like this song it sounds like he has made up his mind to just give himself to his craft and for that we are all lucky to be able to witness him keep on keeping on. It is amazing and that is why my friend and I decided to go see him one last time.
Yes, this will be the last time we see him. It is not because the performance was lacking. It was actually quite good. Certainly there will be grumbles from the casual fans about the lack of "hits", but if you follow Dylan you know that he does what inspires him and not what people expect of him. And again, he is 80....How many 80 year olds start a world tour in a pandemic in order get performances of new songs out to the world? Sure he seemed slower and leaned on the mic stand for support as he took his bows, but he still delivered. On "I've Made Up My Mind" he sings, "I'm not what I was, things aren't what they were", and yes it is true. We are all older, the world has changed and time marches on, but it is just part of life. He continued, " I've traveled a long road of despair, I've met no other traveler there, Lot of people gone, lot of people I knew, I've made up my mind to give myself to you." Lines like that are why I love his songwriting and get me to reflect on what has changed and who has gone since the last time my wife and I saw him 10+ or so years ago. How much has changed, how much good and bad has come and gone. How quickly time goes on.
The morning of the show dawned frosty and cold. Torrents of leaves fell in the calm fall morning air and there was a palpable excitement for the show. The work day passed surprisingly quickly and in the early afternoon I drove to the city to meet my buddy and see the show. We started by enjoying a few pints at Haymarket Brewing. Laughing, reminiscing and talking about sports. Just like we have done for 20+ years. We then had some of the best brisket and elote I have had at Green Street Meats, my god is that place good!!!! After that we headed on over to the beautiful and historic Auditorium Theater for the show. We showed our Covid vaccine cards and masked up....ah how things have changed. We noticed how much older the crowd was than past shows we have seen and then I realized how much older we are too. We were seated and right around 8 Bob hit the stage and played his songs. We sat and listened. The songs were dark and the crowd was subdued. I am not sure if it was the crowd demographic or the content of the songs, but people tended to quietly take it all in. I sat and listened and watched as Bob delivered. He seemed slower, almost as if those long rumors of arthritis actually are true, but his voice was strong the performances fitting for the lyrics. As the songs played I looked back on my first Dylan show in the late 90s. I thought of subsequent shows with my dad, friends I no longer see and shows with my wife. Time marches on and so do we. The highlight of the show for me was this song, and after Bob leaned on the mic stand to steady himself to bow and walked off the stage I knew this would be my last time seeing him. Not because of disappointment, but because this is what I wanted my last show to be. Enjoying it with my best friend, reflecting on what this relationship to Dylan's music means to me and my memories of concerts past (about a dozen). The memories of the people that have shared this music with me. The special place they have in my heart. This day and this show was what it was supposed to be. Perfect. I know he will press on and probably come through in a year or so if history repeats and time and fate allow it. But Dylan playing new songs after a long layoff and singing about the darkness that can come with life was just the light I needed on this day, for that I am grateful. When it was all said and done I drove home a little melancholy thinking about how fast time passes and how much a part of my life this music has been. I am glad he made up his mind to give his art to us all and I am glad I got to witness it many times over the years.
Just takes me a while to realize things
I've seen the sunrise, I've seen the dawn
I'll lay down beside you when everyone's gone
I hope that the gods go easy with me
I knew you'd say yes, I'm saying it too
I've made up my mind to give myself to you"
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