39. Just Like Overnight
Todd Snider makes another appearance on the blog. Sad to say that he passed away a few months back. Since then I have really dived into his catalog, and I have been loving everything he does. I have always appreciated his acerbic wit and humorous takes on life and society. I had terribly overlooked his melancholy songs about life, love and time. It’s a shame it took so long for me to discover his talent. It would have been great to see him live. His songs are stories influenced by stories. Great stuff. I urge you to give him listen. He is well worth it.
When I was in high school, I worked a bagel shop. It was one of my favorite jobs. Simple and with lots of laughs. An INSANE owner that made the handful of teenagers working there crazy and entertained. Fighting with a pig farmer over day old bagels because he already alienated the food bank. I’ve never heard of a charity turn down food for the homeless because the source was too obnoxious. Nevertheless, it was one of my favorite jobs. Better than flipping burgers at Wendys. Early mornings, but lots of laughs with some good people. It seems like yesterday. So much so that the other day I was thinking about “Banana Nut bagel”. When I was in high school there was this old guy who was in reality probably around my age now, but he seemed old to me at the time - let that be a lesson about time. Anyway, he would come in every Saturday morning around 8 or so and order a banana nut bagel and a large pop. He’d grab a booth and stare out the window with the 50s and 60s music playing over the speakers in the shop. He’d slowly eat his breakfast and just fucking stare out the window listening and probably thinking about where the hell time and his life went. He never said a word aside from when he'd order. He’d finish up and then leave, only to come back next week. This happened every week until I went off to college. I never understood why anyone would do that. I DO NOW. Like Banana Nut bagel returning every Saturday it seems like everything is going to be the same and that week by week nothing will change, but it does. I see now that he probably just stared while reminiscing about old friends, happy times with his wife and/or his kids growing up. He would allow that bagel and pop to slow down life to the beat of early rock n roll ballads. Just killing time that was killing him and taking in everything he was trying not to forget. It is kind of like when I am content to stare off at the lake on the fishing trip. It allows time to feel as if it stops for awhile and everything is the same and always will be. Time to breathe before returning to reality and the realization that just like a new morning ain’t nothing going to be the same.
Just over the weekend two of my good friends from college and I were exchanging texts about March Madness and reminiscing about college. Getting nostalgic about the year IU went to the National Championship. Laughing at old pictures that came up in our algorithm driven memories on Facebook. If only it weren’t a toxic wasteland of misinformation and brief memories. If only there was a way it could help us remember it all instead.
While we live them, certain times of our lives feel as if they will last forever. We have the feeling that nothing will change, but then find ourselves years later quickly realizing how fast it all goes before plunging back into life as it picks up speed on the downward slope. My buddy said, “I’d give anything to go back to those times”. I don’t know if I’d give anything, but I would certainly pay a lot for one more weekend with the crew at 21. At the time it felt that nothing would change and yet now it is 23 years later. Things like this are why I think Banana Nut just stared and listened.
We are about to embark on another spring break trip. My oldest is wrapping up Freshman year of high school in few months and my youngest is closing in on 8th grade. They are laying the foundation of memories they will try to remember as they stare off nostalgically somewhere in the future, trying to remember the times they thought would never change. Realistically, we have 3 more of these trips after this year before the oldest is likely on a college schedule and we are probably no longer all going to be under the same roof. Even if we are, she’ll be a young adult and my youngest will be right on her heels. I know that in a short time, nothing will ever be the same. I will take it in and tell myself to remember not to forget times like these because I know that while some days feel like you are reliving the same one over and over, things won’t always go on like this. I will probably be Banana Nut to someone one day, if not at the lake, I will be somewhere, staring misty eyed trying not to forget. Recalling the laughter of friends and family. The tiny hands of my kids in mine. My wife smiling at me on the beach in Hawaii on our honeymoon. The times that were innocent. The times without tension. The happy times where day after day everything was the same. I WOULD give anything to go back and relive these last 20 or so years with the three that matter the most to me, but I can't...so here I am left to stare off into a past only I see, listening for the laughs and sounds of lives racing by, remembering.
Comments
Post a Comment